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Our friends with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she has been often caught off guard in relationships. Her partner walked away, and it was a massive blow. Many of her friends vanished at that point, since they had been drawn to the spouse. This surprised her deeply. She made greater energy to be my friend, and must have grasped better the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, several in her circle have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for became hostile, even though she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened not understanding why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Lately, both of us left the workforce and are seeing time together, yet I realize my position in the relationship feels one-sided. I open discussion points but she shifts conversation onto things she cares about. In terms of politics, she expresses strong opinions. I try to recommend double-checking information and alternate views.

She's been organizing a holiday to a country I know well many times and lived in for some time. I attempted to offer advice, but this was not welcomed. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her plans. I have returned from four weeks there and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, but I don't think she will ever grasp the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to cut and run, but it is not often a smooth outcome we hope for. However, addressing it with a view to working things out demands strength and willingness for each of you.

Therapists recommend using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially requires explaining what typically happens during your discussions. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. Next involves sharing the way it affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement about this. What you feel are your feelings, after all. Finally is to ask how you are both going to change the dynamics between you."

Consider she too has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to hear that. One effective method involves stating to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for half an hour."

This can be successful for promoting better communication.

Final Thoughts

She may dismiss your concerns, for those who hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a story of their life they're unable to release because their very survival is tied to it and it's all familiar to them. It's tough because there's no easy route in such cases, just dead ends. Yet she could start out like this before reflecting your perspective. And should you never reach a fix, it will give you satisfaction from having been truthful.